Kick the bullshit out

Conjecture & assumption w/out full communication only leads one to invalid conclusions, that are not in any manner actual truth. We’ve all done some wild things in our lives, myself in particular___ yes. Generally in order to protect myself &/or get people out of my life that don’t belong. I’ve never been one much for debauchery. However, committing to outlandish acts to extract those from my life that were unable to get the point, mostly due to being too dependant on me & surrounding themselves in denial. These were situations the likes of which the majority would not understand, because they exist outside the boundaries. Up close though, it was quite obvious that even though I cared a great deal for an individual it was best to do what I must to create distance. Strategy is a necessary asset to obtain what is better for you, especially under circumstances where someone closely intertwined is possessive & blind to their actions. Sometimes it is best to bring their fears to life through the person they hold so dear to send them fleeting. They must learn on their own & cease clinging to a relationship that smothers the other. If anything it’s a last resort, but reluctantly required for everybody’s sake. As a result, the majority may get the impression that not only the one committing to strategy to gain space, but too even the other party involved___ aren’t quite right. What the majority thinks though, in the end, doesn’t mean a damn thing. You have to do what is right for you.
So many trial & error instances I’ve gone through in life, & what I’ve come to learn through the lot is that one must only trust them-self. The degree to which most operate on & are subjected to conjecture & assumption has resulted in not only the fear of others but them-self. Great denial is involved, w/out doubt. None of this is to say I am any better than anyone else, just simply that I’ve come to a point where I refuse to give a shit about other people’s inability to communicate w/ themselves & others, thus allowing conjecture & assumption to lead the way. There is no avoiding it, but it is possible to stop the process in isolated situations & walk away before things get too thick.
In short: I’ve put up w/ enough & refuse to be kicked around by other’s opinions that are not entirely solid. Opinions that were developed through the inability to openly communicate, as well the aforementioned accumulation of fears & varying degrees of denial. In near 30 years I’ve met less than a handful of individuals capable of actual communication. As well, I do not hesitate to say that I am still learning how, when & not to attempt getting involved at all w/ others. Hope & giving the benefit of the doubt occasionally peek my interest in bettering interactions w/ some & making new friends. Unfortunately, it only works out about once a decade, & those I tend to keep. No fingers can be pointed & no one can be blamed, since humanity is just not ready. Thus, for me, it makes the most sense to stick to those I know best. Even when I stand in offer of full communication generally others are so consumed all that ensues is bullshit. We can learn from bullshit, but over-all hope is a dream & in life we can only trust ourselves. Again, other people’s opinions & ideas cast on you don’t mean a thing. The only thing that matters is learning to openly communicate w/ yourself & knowing how to trust you & only you. Protect & serve yourself to help protect & assist those you love & know are trust worthy. Kick the bullshit out, because a clean heart & mind is the most profitable asset for growth & knowledge that is not fogged by fear & denial, be it someone else’s or yours.

written: 6/18/2014