Then & now

Relaying
the memory
back to myself
of
how sick I was,
so how sick
I am
now
does not
seem so bad.

At the saboteur's end

No___
the confrontation ended
when he put the gun to his own head
& I walked off___
bastard couldn’t even shoot me in the back.

Learning to dance due to falling

I
could not
allow
dying slowly
to be
a
graceless act.

For months now

Any small
task
may just
fix
everything

especially
closing
my eyes
again
in
the morning

Death lurking in the loom

Dying
in between
heart beats,
while
strategizing my
steps
in between
the moments
when
I am alive,
&
living is agony

Interstice of a nightmare

A beat
of a heart
is an interruption
to a dream

From one life to another

When
prepping
yet another
body
for
yet another
toe tag,
do you ever ask
yourself:
who
you were, on
this run___

Up the barrel of eternity

When you
feel yourself dying, yet
you know you
still
have time
to kill

The past in the present

Memories
turn
everyone
into
monsters

Third day

Scared to say
I feel I may
die today

The cheap way out

If I could recall
all of
the pain felt
in this one life___
the shock
would be so great___
I would not
be willing
to come
out of
it.

Duck

Existence

My
lethargy
comes w/ the
territory.

One thought

It's not about
what you're lacking
or
what you're gaining,
it's about
what is.

You may be high, but not mighty

Filthy whores___
your shit doesn’t stink any better.
So____
what if I hangout w/ some boldly shady people,
you’re just as shady
in only___
a slightly different fashion.

P.S.___
Other people’s perceptions
usually aren’t
all___
they’re cracked up to be.

Life leaves scars

How clearly
can the pain be
recalled from each;
is it
the pain or the event
retained w/
intense clarity;
which was worse:
the pain, the instance
or
the fading scar

&
how has
the perception
of each
changed,
since the originals?

Feel like I could die

Realized
why
my grandfather
honored Doc Watson
in prayer,
as we sat down to dinner
on my twenty-seventh
birthday

& it hurts so bad___

I know as I
start to laugh

later,
I’m always
gonna
cry.

Singsong memory

Like
a fairytale
echoing
into what
murky wiles
of
eternity,
my mind may
be able to
muster
the distant
warbling
of

Night thoughts

My mind
will forever be
else where, until
you
come to my side.

Atop lit shards of glass

I still
dance,
I just do so
using smaller
steps.

One eye open

Seven a.m.
& the scent of a
cheap metal
spoon in
hot tea, reminds that
it’s already been
a long day.

While whistling at passers by

Sorry___
just can’t take anyone
seriously,
when barely recognizing each other,
they wave their fresh needles
to the side,
just for my eyes,
& comment
on having waited all day.

Hainted by Santa, in March

Having been alone rounding
three days, I walked into
my client’s garage on
some domestic search, only
to be greeted by the beginning
of the tune
claiming Santa Claus
is coming to town;
assuming
I would find
a gaudy decoration
w/ a dying battery, there was
no such display, not so much as
an awkwardly labeled box
or a dusty string of Christmas lights
to hint at
its existence, & just
as I shook my head to imply
that I gave up, the tune
warbled confidently
to its finish,
w/out repeat.

Possible

Existence may be
an impossibly
endless equation, but
at least life
is just
an
extensive jigsaw puzzle.

Bitch, claim you're clever

A
bullshitter
is the easiest
person
to bullshit into
not
knowing
up from down, &
still believe
in you
as one would have
faith
in Christ.

Don't act like you don't know no quid pro quo

Main reason
for the majority of
my friendships
existing, is
due to my consent
to be
walked on.

As a child & up

Baptism
ceremonies,
are what brought
my fear
of a drowning death,
to life.