The center is quite sound
& my heart keeps good rhythm,
even though resilience shows
there is a sensation of sharp particles
separating & coming back
together w/ a wild friction, which can be
rather shocking___
but worthwhile, & why not?
I hear there’s a purpose for everything___.
If the above is true___, then I just
might as well get used to it
& keep rolling w/ the punches
when there’s not much else to do___,
except create & wait
as I heal.
Deeper acceptance is required
to heal___,
even though I aim for positive
thought & action, I am
purging negative energy___.
I know
it’s not a person
that I am
disappointed in___,
instead
at the core
it’s the trauma that still
haunts my every day
that I have to
accept___,
before able to
heal.
I know what I am saying, but it all feels___ wrong when flipping to the outside...
Strapped across
dancing ribs
is flesh more akin
to rice paper,
pay it no mind
since healing
takes time,
even if
this body were
stuffed
everyday
___ ___ ___
light would
shine through
anyway.
To eat
is a joke
right now,
once a day is
more
than enough.
I’m not sure
of the right words
to depict this degree
of sheer agony,
which drags
me to
the brink
& back through
tears & laughter,
reaching an
oddly maniacal point
where
I just don’t
feel
much else.
Observation: Americans are reduced to bullied cowards told to march w/ their pride held out front, only to bully others from w/in their cowardice. We are taught to fear each other from a backward approach, that results in: by the time we could possibly realize___ we're already pitted against each other in our own war. That way we're distracted from the bigger issues, such as the one that keeps us pitted against each other. Like always I will say: annihilation, there are far too many of us. If perhaps a balance could be reached of reciprocity & communication between government & civilians___ I would stop saying: kill at least half. I don't want the slaughter anymore than anyone else, but___ it seems as though this is what humanity is begging for from a subconscious behavioral approach. At the moment I have no choice but to speak from the American point of view, because it's in my face every day. Not all countries are like this one, but just like all humans we run on foundational parallels (it's mathematically impossible not to). My exact point___ |sigh| ___I just don't think I can properly convey in this post. Today I just wanted to say something to the world, to Americans specifically. If humanity could learn to lead w/ their hearts & rational minds, instead of pride & ego___ we would all be a lot better off. What bites most right now___ is knowing that won't happen in my life time. It may never happen. I hope it will though, because it would defy an entire category of observations & theories I have developed on the current human condition (which I do feel is limited by the American wool-pull). Plus, I grew up in & currently reside in what Americans refer to as: The Bible Belt. That's right folks, my messages come to you from The Heart of Dixie, only 45 minutes from the birth place of the KKK. Do you see my stance? One of the three largest arsenals in America is w/in walking distance of my house. Some days it sounds/feels like an air-raid! You wouldn't think___ but Huntsville, AL would be one of the best spots to bomb by 'terrorists'___. & that's what I call home___.
(This song was actually released on the only album created under the name change to: Boingo. It was released May 17th, 1994 [only a week or so before Danny Elfman, JFK & my birthday] & wasn't terribly well received by the public. However, this album is just as wonderful as Oingo Boingo in its entirety. Really, give it a shot. Listen to the song Insanity, just for me ;} xoxo)
