Facing the eternal war trench

Feels like
the noose
is already around
my neck,
& it's
a lit extension chord,
just have yet
to hit the
dangle

An adhesive for reality

You can
barely
hear
or perceive
the word,
but
you can
feel
it

Communicating w/ silence

Like a slap
across the face

like the crossing
of one leg over
the other

the twist of a ring
around a finger

like the sudden dart
of an eye
w/
the arch
of
a brow

& the intonation
of a word

minus
the syllables

adhering
silence
w/
sound

Where's my compassion now?

Faith
pulled away

I didn't even get
the chance to
let go

Apt

The
more the
truth
flows thru
me

the
more
empty
I
feel

Strings

God
himself
would tell you
He isn't
real

Black list

You hoisted
my freak illness
up on a platter,
carrying me
around to
various
hospitals
doctors
& clinics
so you could stay
fucked up
on pain pills,
after
being black listed
by every
doctor
in the city

Your youngest child

You taught me
blackmail

by age 13

to better protect
myself

from you

Dear dad

If
you're just
going to take it,
I don't want anything.

Boots

You don't
have
to trust me,
but
it may help

in the long run

Honest

About
to burst

like
the purity of a
screaming orgasm

regardless of
the date or time of
day

Don't know what else to tell

Most of what
I've said,
can be
implied by now

Soft jigsaw

Quiet
reasons
contemplated
while folding flower
petals
into puzzles

Grid

Of it

Sadness tends
w/ more endearing
qualities

since it never stops

even once
the pressure lets off
from the pain

If he had any

Just at the moment
you may have succeeded
at attempting to convince
yourself, thru
a blind patch-working
of half-decent moments,
that things
may turn out okay

he gives
another valid reason
to kick
his teeth in

Need

Taut between
patient moments
surging echoes
up the spine
of reason
in a feverish climb
to get back
home

Just falling short of everything

If I ever had
anything

it was about
to be taken
away

All other colors

Darker
purple & blue

generally

look the same
to me

PTSD blues

No one
may appeal
to my
good-side, if
I don't
have one.

Lemon drops

A clear image
thru
a kaleidoscope

it's what's
right
in front of you

From the gut up

A mirror's ripple
is equal to
a spontaneous scream

Bug

Want

To feel
lips
against
skull
&
skin

Boom boom

Humanity
wanted peace,
so they created
the atom
bomb

Wouldn't know power, if it hit me in the face

I couldn't be
drunk
on power

since

I'm already
too
drunk
on pain

Attention span

Rampant agony
turns
my soul
temporarily
into a goldfish

repeatedly swimming
circles in its bowl

i.e. my skull

Crying ink

Burying
my face in my
forearms
to filter screams
of agony

led to
my crying tattoos

each arm
inked w/ poetry helps
subdue the need to break
tears
over being broken inside
all the time

Depth perception

I was born
w/
the thousand-yard
stare

already having settled in

& feels

Divide
a ribbon a million
times

& bind it back
together
w/ transparent twine

& remember
how it looks when
the same
yet
different again

No longer blue

All
that's left

of each
iris

in my head

is

a pale coal tone

w/ fragments

of what was once

blue

that
occasionally appear
to swim in
a haze of dead
emerald

A not so new, but true

Forsooth

Remember me
like a dream you never
saw coming___,
play me like a flute
you always keep
in your jacket
pocket___,
twist me around
your finger
& tie me into a bow___,
don’t let me go
& don’t
forget your key to my
only locket___.

Avoiding scum

Clean
the shower
while you're in it,
that way the build up
won't get you down
later.

Or, it wouldn't be the same

Just wash
the piss, shit
& blood

off your hands

since,
in essence, life will
continue.

Post-amnesia

Can't remember anything,
but
can remember everything
all at the same time.

Sum times

Passing minutes in
a day

is akin
to masterbating

in the face
of a
speeding freight train

The answer

It's
gonna be
okay

it just
won't feel
okay

Natural poison

Attempted murder
by selfish & inconsiderate
hands

only

requires their lazy nature.

A poorly kept appearance

The lesson
was not to keep
your closets clean

instead

it was to keep
your skeletons hid
from the light

A message to the caretaker

The green dish rag
abandoned
in a soggy ball
on the kitchen island,
is a statement
of sorrow:
don't leave me, because
I refuse to properly
clean myself.

Quality

You know
a green bean
is good, when by
a naked glance,
you can tell
it has fur.

For future

At this point,
the worry over aging
isn't as pertinent,
more so
worry rests in feeling
like a car
being towed to fix,
when really it's
being taken
to the junk yard

as
its good parts
are
only good for being
sold off

Elbow grease & mint chocolate chip ice cream

Don't care if
it's called
gelato or ice cream,
when its
dripping lid
gets left
face down on the counter,
until I decide
to scrub it up,
it's going to be called:
your fucking mess.

W/out heat, but w/ all the ingredients

Soup served
cold still
nourishes

body
&
soul

What happens when it works?

Perhaps
my greatest fear
is being afraid, since
when I get so much as
anxious, I attempt to empty
my mind of everything

Thallium2

Thallium

Bitch 101

Kvetching is
a supplementation
for the lack of proper
volition,
in form of backwards
motivation

High & low

Searching
mind & matter
for your
soul components

Bitter almond

Dogfish1

Doodle

Consistency

Humanity already
did dumb shit
for love & worship,
now
it's
dumb shit
for
money
in the name
of love & worship,
that's
modernity

Always

Balancing on
an existential
high-wire
&
remaining level,
while yelling
as one appearing
stark raving mad
would

takes plenty
of
trail-&-error

In life

A heart
seems to beat
in the dark

perhaps
that's why so much
of humanity
spreads such a dingy light
on death

By chance living

What stumbles
across
me

as I stumble

across it

From '85

Everything else
celebrates
my birthday
on
the 31st of May,
instead
of the 29th,
as
my birth certificate
states
as
the appropriate date.

A logical philosophy

If
you
don't like
to cook & clean,
avoid
the same kitchen
as me;
if
you
can't cook
& only
pretend to clean,
stay
the fuck out
of
the same kitchen
as me

Open blank

So
broke
I asked for
a stamp

to
post
a letter
to
say

it's
OK
to go
hungry

sometimes

No comment

Between voice mail
&
the comment button
on social media,
morons have
only
succeeded in
mediocre attempts
at
harassment

trolling
my streets
just means
you're
running out
of game

better luck next time

Jack ass

Funny, right?

As a child,
when falling contagiously ill,
I was told
to go sleep in the garage.

Paper eyes

Daily news

like gossip

it's just
something else
to cling to

Give or take

Always on the edge
of a bad crowd
&
a good one
too

since from that stance
both appear
roughly the same

A luxury bed of nails

Only
difference
between

childhood
&
adulthood

is
you're bred
in
a briar patch

&
then
upgraded
to
a bed of nails

Asphalt for the soul

A
detour
on way back
to peace of mind

war would be extra roadwork

this is just stopping to fill
a pothole

Forsooth

One of the few variables
strong enough to distract
the soul from the ache
of existence

is chaos

& there's a lot of love
in chaos

necessary for contrast

we wouldn't know we
exist
if it weren't for
the burn
of it.

Chaos, the only remedy

For
the burn
of existence

no
tonic can be
obtained

nor administered

not even the
grave
can
diffuse such
an agony

Thinking thought

Seen anomaly

Just because
there's no written
definition for something,
doesn't mean
you don't know
its meaning

For yourself

Not sure
the focus was
so much on
trying to be more
yourself for others, but
as long as you're not
trying to be
someone else, then
you're probably
well on track

Bothering to look

But maybe it's that I
don't want to know what bullshit
is lurking around the corner,
when unfortunately___
I've got more than
just a suspicion, after all
this time

By impatient hands

Inside my mind
feels like the sound
of an already disorganized
silverware drawer being
rummaged thru

W/ a pop-up heart

Look at
the signs
all around us
& laugh,
while it's still
the right
moment

A not so startling reflex

The squeeze
of a knee
can be
so
reassuring

Human boogie

On occasion,
I wonder if
being
the worst person
I can imagine
would make them less
fond of me,
but then I look around
& remember
how humanity grew
this way.

Working ideas

Hope to flesh out a better piece from this

& again, it was written

God spoke
to humanity
& simply said:
Yeah___
I've got
your 6 & 12, but
I've also got
the bullet
belonging between
your eyes, &
I'm probably the only
mother fucker
capable of
putting it
there

Repetition

Some
of my poems
seem
to become
struck
by
spina bifida.

Of mind

Watch-ER v2

Drawing

Dead weight
in a stick figure,
is surprisingly
difficult

What future be

In the garden
of your dreams

not all is green

instead
there is every
color
possibly seen.

Standing room only

Get
the fuck up
off your back
&
lift that
Shady hood.

Fl!t

Not even
a
brown
grasshopper
would give
you
the time
of day

Love

I grew
just
for you

About being

Mental
&
physical
drain,
equates
to
pain

You failed

By
being
dishonest
w/
yourself, you
are dishonest
to
everyone else.

Lacrimal fluid

Season
that bowl of
soup
w/
sodium chloride,
cuz
it's still good
for you.

Escaping Your reality

As always

the grass
really
isn't greener

on the other side

&
that desire
is
more about
your own greed.

Etcetera

Give me contrast
or
give me pure chaos

give me chaos
or
give me pure contrast

either way

a new definition
will
take place

Hydrocarbon tear gas

Obtaining
a can
of
mace
just means
I have
something to
empty
in their face

before busting
their teeth
out
&
choking them
w/ it.

No cowardly threats

No business cards
no instant msgs
no listed phone #
&
specifically
no voice mail
&
ALWAYS
caller ID

&
I wish
it were
MY
paranoia.

Get up under them rocks!

When hunting
for
crawdaddies

generally

all
you spot
are
pollywogs

Seemingly hysterical

Don't
know
if I wanna
scream & cry
or
laugh until I die.

Autopsy pillow

Crawling back
to bed
at end of a day,
a ritual of sorting
decomposition
takes place

where

resting my neck
& skull
on
a metal block
is the only
comfort
I
know

Writing poetry

Picking
dirt
up off
the floor
w/
your mind

Eek & ew

I understand it's sad
that I know
nothing changed
&
the expected order
remained same, when
I walk back inside for
the first time in less than
a week
&
the stench nearly makes
me puke

Let me tell ya somethin' 'bout the gospel

It's only
a reaction
to a tepid
boil

since
we're all
riddled
w/
guilt

Just another day

Of any color

Freshly folded
& sewn
petals

Even the spigots are talking

Crisp textures, &
extended distractions

all for the sake of happiness

Pull yourself up

By
your own
bootstraps,
& then
some

Near denial proof

She was impossible
to speak to

"that's prostitution
& you're fully
the fuck
aware of the facts."

& reason
was the last obstacle
to be employed

"it's only prostitution
if it doesn't work."

in short:
a bunch of coy
bullshit
& trouble
I wouldn't be able
to get her out of in
the end.

Glory be

Feral angel/cat raving mad

An altruistic
method,
w/
ass - beating
ethics.

Watch

Momma Bear said:

NO,
don't bring that trash
up to my door,
'less you want the ground
to shake
& swallow you whole.

there's Your diplomacy

I didn't
make the truth
&
I didn't
make it hurt

anymore

than
it
already did

I just
displayed
it
w/in
the scenery
it
already
fit.

In a stable spin

Built
thru adaptation

in a field
of constant curveballs

Poppies

Today's drawing

Mine?

A ghost
walked up
to my door today,
because he wanted to see
a friendly face.

What them soldiers e't

A
batch
of buzzards
got bit by shrapnel
while circling the sky,
&
got cooked into a pie.

In your fists

Put
your guts
up

Tho

Unconditional
love
can come
in the form of
a bomb.

E

D

Shoved & drug

Positioned
in
a corner & beat,
I had to learn how
to fight
back,
w/out hitting.

Even in the right socket

Only when
shit 's snake bit
does
another 40 watt bulb
blow,
after 2 months
of pseudo
use.

What blood?

Like
a corporate
9 to 5,
parasites
will suck
the life
out of you.

Tiny tick attack

Brought a batch
of blood sucking parasites
home w/ me, after
body hunting for my daddy, &
had to use lice shampoo
to shell shock the lot
off my body

even tho
lice is unknown to me

parasites
are all the same.

mySELF

I will rip my own
heart out,
& choke him
w/ it.

A polite gesture

Please,
check your map & anger
at the door,
there is even a conveniently
allotted space
off
to the side
for that very purpose,
in order to show respect
for what you do not
yet
understand.

A well designed impact

Beyond the manifold
of poetry in posture, I know
my bite is worse than written word

I tear the flesh from the sternum,
burst thru the ribs & rip out
the heart
in order to force feed it back into you

whether or not you survive

but there is a silver lining for those
w/ the guts to stand up
& speak, since verbal communication
is where real strength
begins

SNAP trap

If
you want
to act
like a three year old,
perhaps you should consider
reincarnation

Out of touch

Wrapped up
in what makes me
more myself
___

not everybody else.

Is it really so shocking?

The canary died
in a coal mine fatality
(the fate of such a bird),
& the robber left
no sign nor evidence behind
(as is not the case of Santa Claus).

Remember to let go

Latched on
to short
purse strings, &
dangling in
a painful
daydream, in which
everything is convoluted
___

&
___

that is apt to be truth.

The sparkplug method

You don't
even need
a slingshot

glass shatters
on impact

&
we liked it___
&
we said___
it
was
good

It 'll have to shoot me, first

Bursting
into song, as
the pain rolls on,
cuz I intend to keep
my cowboy boots on.

Orphan chewing gum

You say you don't
use me, since you don't
need me & so there's none
of me to share,
BUT
somehow
I still get stuck
to the top
of the washing machine.

Advise to a friend

Strap on
your
personal leeches,
&
recycle
that pain

Unfortunately, one may just say

One pretty penny
per petty snitch,
& I'd be
one rich bitch.

Changing decoration

I've
taken to
storing what
money
I earn

in my old morphine bottles

since
the irony
seems
to
suit

Oh, c'mon

When is
this world
ever
going to be
realistic

Truth & bile

Lately
I've just felt
like yelling from
the base of my gut,
just because
I can

besides
if I sing in between,
maybe they will
assume
I am crazy

The Alabama alarm clock

Engulfed in
a round of prattle after
work in Memphis all weekend

we hadn't realized
our approach of the state line,
until my sudden jump
of adrenaline & breathing,
egging on the inquiry:
'is this Iuke
or is this Cherokee, cuz
these still be Mississippi roads'

then we saw those Alabama
hills & trees, w/
a dip
in the energy of
prattle
&
otherwise

The bottom line

So
you thought
the truth would hurt,
then one day
it knocked right on your door
& said: you're going to hell,
& hand-in-hand
I'm gonna
take you there.

When the job is done

Helping another
along
the flight path
to a better living,
does not mean
I ever
want them
to fly back to me
just
to say
how lost they
were.

Not interested in looking in from the outside

Ya get sick
of cleaning up
civilian shit,
as it is a lie to call
civilized.

Learning to earn selfish

I am
taking back
me, for myself.

About society

Stupidity
keeps
its
secrets.

An extra backbone

To be
an anchor
is
to embrace the
feeling
of being a constant
burden, while also
playing a necessity
for
survival.

Tiny spaces

In
the foley
sound shifts thru
peace
& works as an adhesive,
to hold the
right pieces
together.

Apples

Lobotomy

To exact

It is
a question
of___
Yes.

Origin

Early

Counting backward

Glare

Black strap

Our souls are
bound by
flesh
straight jackets,
thus
our minds turn
w/ wander
thru such an
ethereal & brasch
morass

& her

Reaching
to pet my cat
resting in a basket
atop the dryer, &
feeling familiar fur
w/ a lifeless body
underneath___
was closure enough
for me.

Just for good measure

Facts dangle
in my face,
as if
swaying
from a meat hook
hung from a wishbone
composed of light particles,
once shone
from the bowels of a star,
that was caught
sight of one
misty, rain dabbled night,
in between a couple
clouds,
which had
spit in each eye.

Steady breeze around an unsteady leaf

Staying calm amid the fall
of measured slats,
holding up everything
except
the dirt & the trees;
sitting still thru
the decomposition of dream,
hope & wonder___
even
the associated horror for contrast
got smashed;
sleeping peacefully w/
one eye always open on the off chance
there may be a reason
for the intrigue
of sight,
while supposedly in dream.

Up in smoke

Memorized hours, clocked
by the beat of a heart,
w/ rice paper walls protecting
the existence of vital
instruments,
saved
for later, when the world
backfires & destroys those hours
&
that heart.

A true issue

Understanding
the architecture
of a heart’s
beat.

A consumer's issue

How do you eat
the beat of
a heart?

Sanguine sky

It’s always
been
like this, give
or take

parts of the foundation
seem whole
& others aren’t so
simple to put a solid step on
w/out fearing falling thru
an endless sky

That wince & grin

What happened on that day
when light turned into only a prism
w/ a dingy tinge turning around
inside___
& it laughed back
at us___

Just at the bone

Keep attempting to
cut out my soul, you know
to set it free

at times I think I might just succeed

past
tendon once paired w/ muscle
& practically drowning
in the blood of
what once seemed
so substantial,
it may have been mistook
for indestructible

&
what wild glee
gurgles amid
atoms

when
I can’t
cut
past
the bone.

Later baby, later

Some
of the shit
I say doesn’t mean a thing
to me
either, & I like it that way.

Freefall

No place
for anything, but
somewhere
for all & everything.

As possible

Living in a wreak
which cannot be corrected,
means as much must make sense.

Of simple & participle

It
began before
we
understood
it
had begun

Or not

When
this purple petal
will float on its breeze, its
make can turn
it while
easier, whether to its end___

Don't push

I do not have
time to be
rushed___.

Wire walking Blindfolded

Imminent immanence
w/ death & no safety net
surrounding
in
a drop
to not a breath left,
yet
just as good of a view to
behold.

If only

When I close my eyes
I automatically
drop into unconsciousness.

A creator in circles

If
he were
an insect, it
would only display
a single, immaculate
wing
down the center

of its thorax,
w/
no damage
to imply that
another ever existed.

For the sake of proof

Life
is
a
magnifying glass
of hours, assisted
by days.

What may feel like a stumble

Not sure
how long I’ve tried
to appropriately analogize
mind over matter,
for better grasp in the future,
but all I can manage
to say is Mai over Mae.

Warm fractals

The pupil
is
the black hole
of
the eye

Consistency

Being awake has become further
disappointment, but more so
just empty enough
to echo back
my own dissatisfaction.

Thru each season

Living in
the subtropics is
akin
to having termites
in your bones
thru summer, &
in winter
the wind then
blows brittle whistles
thru what holes
are
left behind.

Cold morning in May

Encourages
resting the skull
against the bosom
of oblivion

Another age of this

You talk about me more than you talk to me,
& It’s not like I’m going anywhere

Hanging around a sloppy foundation
w/ a more than rattled structure,
not even a good set of bones

Walking barefoot on broken teeth, it was always
an inevitability & now
to take to new stakes for a better show, but what
trouble does not rest so easy in approach

Still a split lip

Not always exact about what I’m doing,
I just know there’s plenty of certainty
& indifference to uncertainty.

Friction between feelings

Earned peace
can get annoyed
by the feeling
of external
misery

S3lf

'&, behold, all is vanity & vexation of the spirit'
King Solomon

Saturn

Tilt

Brilliant tones

&
the colors
change
from an awkward
ochre
to a fuchsia

Beyond detail

Always
looking for
the blank
spaces

A tinge in the eye

To
pet the wings
of a bee,
takes complicated
footing

Tale

Dumbfounded
& mute, but
it’s not
as rocky as
it used
to be

Focus for the Storm

Your innocence
makes me wish I could cry,
while provision & ceremony
insist; at least know
my sweet
that you were not eaten
out of vanity,
instead
for the rhythm
of remaining steady.

The rare quality of meat, for me

Does
consuming
a bloody steak
compensate,
while
waiting
patiently
on
retribution?

An arduous trek

Trial & error
are the seemingly
precariously structured
spiral staircase
of existence

One way or the other

Each perception,
whether
one or the other
is considered
false,
both
still play
their part in
all & everything.

Paying me pre D day

Maybe it’s that
I’m the one
they can take their
Real troubles to,
w/ a known
understanding that
I’m not the judge,
just
the fixer

Mean but true

The delusion
which causes others
to think I need
to be taken
care of, is hilarious
&
mildly offensive

since I’ve waged
Death’s sickle alone, yet
on that same note, several
rejected my existence
&
some abused my
circumstance
for
their
sick needs

pretty certain I don’t need
you
or
anyone else
convincing themselves I need
them
for anything

Not so fresh

Being born
is no
bliss of ignorance,
& being reborn
is even worse

Reborn amid a hasty reach for the morgue drawer

When
a friend hesitantly
reads their suicide note aloud,
after surviving
the intended death reach

locked in an asylum

the last
question to ask
is:
how do you feel now

Mercury

In
Transit.

When god spoke

It drown
Egypt
by the chariot
spokes

& yet
the wheels
continue
rolling

whether
on
the ground
or
thru the skies

Remembering silence

Religion
is the equal
to a book title,
not
the body of work.

Drowning in Jordan

The ideal today seems to be deterioration
& absurdity to the furthest possible extreme,
not like those 1960s family tv shows
everyone still loves so much.

Observation

My soul is delirious
in a field of perpetually
prismatic light

One more for the road

Abuse
molestation
& rape___

that
was
this life time.

Next
go around___

you get to
go
fuck yourself.

Our daily distraction

There’s too much pain
every day
to not
have the patience
to survive