Learn & fix it, oh shit___

At the moment I am extremely frustrated. After years of learning & working I finally put together a manuscript (quite some time back). Right now I am in the process of getting it developed properly to self-publish. Being new at this & things just not going smoothly is draining my patience. It will happen. W/out doubt this is something I have to do, because I said so. Sure, I'm stubborn, but my ego is well in-check. Some days I feel as though I'm surrounded by megalomaniacs, which is part of a larger view in the process. Because, I'm sure I appear very arrogant as I set out to accomplish what builds up to a major task in my mind. My own press label, my work my way & a couple people around me acting as buffers when I just don't know what the fuck to do. I am thankful those people are there! As the process hits turbulence & feels arduous, I end up having to back away for a spell to breathe. Currently, I am trying to breathe & can't help but think further out, than the current tasks at hand.
When it has been completed & the book is available for purchase___, then what? Sure, keep developing & releasing. My frustration is doubled at just the thought of self-promotion though, & dealing w/ more people on a personal basis. Or, not even the personal basis, but rather the peek-a-boo/run-&-hide commentary___ that very poorly executed tongue-&-cheek manner of letting someone know what you honestly think, because it's not honest. [It's actually very similar to the unspoken 'rules' in corporate society/work. There's not a huge difference. Now that I've reached this point I see it even more clearly. All the things you didn't know, & couldn't have known, until committing to specific actions. Resulting in having to adhere to a new 'rule' or even attitude due to having changed one's stance.] I understand that I can't expect everyone to be straight-faced w/ me. Right now I'm sure I don't come off as straight-faced because I'm terse. In general I am a terse person, in fact I was born w/ an aversion for most people & had to learn to adapt as I grew. Not so much mean, as brutally honest. Forward, if you will. Naturally, I hesitate at people's reaction to my ideas & statements in poetry form. Part of me is doing this because it seems natural w/ so much work already at hand, & part of me wants to just keep working___ & never look up. The windows are already open, why must I open the doors too?

"In short, I am at my best when nobody knows me, nobody recognizes me. When I am just another nobody, in other words."
      -Henry Miller