Taking fuck for granted

Ya know, for not having had a long-term relationship in five years, barely remembering what having sex feels like I have abstained so long &___ my main job right now IS being nude. Things are getting annoyingly surreal. These events come in waves. Being asked out by an obvious date rapist that knows where I live, peeping toms at the door windows while I'm at work (they covered the windows after I was tempted to break my position & adjust my middle finger to make my point) & not to mention___ someone has been coming in after hours & fucking on the very recliner I pose on! The vaginal discharge & dried cum say it all.
Let me state: I do like my job. I really enjoy working w/ students & teachers as a team for the purpose of art. The people I work w/ are great, the students are very respectful & kind; plus we all get into a tizzy when we come back & things are moved/tampered w/. 
As I was picked up for work, I was handed a print out titled: Why you should date or normal girl versus a wild mystic. That alone made me smile. I don't know exactly if this person is the original author, but it says: via Alison Nappi (it may just be a meme of sorts that has been floating around for awhile, but it suits!). It reads:

A mystic is a wild creature. She is made. She is deliberately forged by something mysterious. She is created for a purpose. She spends all her life seeking, for there is nothing else worth doing. She peers & gazes until she falls from the edge of the world, & into the next. Over & over.
Each time she returns, she is a little different. What she sees must change her. She dies every day. She is reborn in every moment. Can you even begin to fathom the terror & the faith commanded from such a being? Can you even begin to understand what such a life can do?
Don't date a mystic, if you want the life you have. If you are comfortable & cozy, stay away. Whatever you have built around yourself to create comfort: it cannot stand in the blazing fire of a mystical woman. She is no trophy. She is no bodily pleasure-maker. She is the seer of souls.
She is the womb that births the divine into the flesh & bone of matter.
She doesn't mean to burn your village to the ground, but she has seen what you are meant to become. You are not a peasant sheering sheep, as you have thought. You are a king dressed in rags who has amnesia.
It is her assumption that you have come to be reborn. If you haven't, turn back now, while the world you know still exists.
If she touches you, & all the voices of the wind go silent, if you feel you are in a snow globe when you embrace her, she is your destroyer. She will destroy the false idol you see in the mirror. She will smash it open because it is your prison. If you wish to stay there, she will shatter you another way. She will leave.
A mystic may not for long engage w/ that which is too small for her, unless she is nurturing a seedling into its destiny. But the seed must be capable of fulfilling its own potential.
Everybody wants the magic, but nobody wants the Mystery, the schooling: a thing that must be lived in a place where book knowledge has no meaning, for all books are manuals to the world you already know. The means, the well-honed intellect --- the masculine theory of reason --- will not save you, cannot free you. It is for a world whose time is over.
The Mystery, by its very nature, must show you what has never been seen, never been written, never been known, because before you were forged, it was impossible. The arts of women have been called the dark arts for too long, & they are the keys to infinity. Infinite form. Infinite being. Infinite life.
(skipping ahead a bit)
If your dreams are not filled w/ Mystery, you are better off w/ a normal girl, because a mystic will see things that are invisible to you. She will feel things that you cannot feel beneath the layers of numbness you have wrapped yourself in.
She will call upon your true self, your real soul, & she will sing it down into you, into herself, & life will never be the same.

Reading that turned a few things around inside me. I wouldn't call myself a mystic or any such thing, but the description is close in a way. To date, in general, I have to pretend to be a normal girl___, but I'm not. I can't pretend anymore either, & that's why I've been wandering in my own world for so long. Is there one more that can be added? Usually I only receive visitors, but once they see the unknown___ they run, & I let them. My life is swimming face-up in nothingness, & I can't help that, I was born this way. I'd rather be alone, pushing the pieces of life's puzzles around in the dirt, than waste my time on someone that will just end up running away from me.

Oh wellz, just needed to vent a bit___.