When everything is going wrong, it's going right. Right?

For those that hate me, here's a damn good chance to laugh at my expense.
Everything is falling apart around me, literally. I'm crawling on my hands & knees for work, while desperate for insurance & proper medical treatment (there are some things I can't do on my own, like perform a hysterectomy). Thankfully I'm already well-known in the art department at a local university & should be modeling again soon (go figure, I turn down stripping due to my morals & condition, but end up nude again___ at least for art though). As well, I'm applying for temp jobs there too, because I will take anything I can get. Right as I got positive response on work from the university, I heard a dripping (it's been storming for days & will continue to for at least another) above my closet. So, I opened the door & there's water falling through the threshold. Immediately as the water hit my face, all the lights in my room began to flicker & went out in unison (not a power outage, just my lights). & that's just the tip of the iceberg.
Over the last two months everything has been slowly falling apart. Including me, emotionally. [As I type the storm outside is coming down harder by the minute.] Each time I feel as though I've rationalized & talked myself back to a more stable level, something else hits.
My grandfather being so ill has broken my heart, & I haven't believed in broken hearts since I was a teen. At least on New Years as my family was encouraging him to eat & he kindly objected, I thought of a reward system that worked wonderfully! I told him if he cleared his plate I would read passages from the Bible to him (I grew up watching him preach). Seeing the beautiful glint of happiness in his eyes as he reached for my hand is something I will treasure as long as I live. Still, I am heartbroken.
Topping everything off I completely lack inspiration for my work. Sure, I can sit here & type about what's happening in my life, but that's the full extent. From what I have surmised this is reaction to the struggles life has thrown in mine & my family's direction. I literally can't control the tears. At times I will be going about my business & next thing I know___ there are tears rolling down my cheeks & hitting my jeans.
Being encouraged to start dating again doesn't help, because that is pointless. Nothing good could possibly come from that adventure. Think I'll just stick to tending to my family & stabilizing myself, even though things are continuing to fall apart further___ more & more. I feel helpless as I fight to keep going w/ a positive outlook. Charity case at age 30 & certainly not from lack of trying (I've worked & struggled just to hit multitudes of dead ends), ___doesn't matter. I still believe I will find a way to make things work & get out of this w/ my dignity still intact.
Note: I will go on a rampage if this roof leak damages my books, instruments or any of my other valuable gear I can't replace. They may be material objects, but they're all I've got to keep me going (outside of my family & the very few friends I actually have).